After revealing the Discovery Vision concept and plans to also use the Discovery name on the forthcoming Freelander replacement, Land Rover today announced that in future all its models will be called Discovery.
‘It’s really very simple,’ insisted the company’s Head Of Discovery, Discovery Smith. ‘The Range Rover will become the Discovery Extra, the Range Rover Sport will become the Discovery Super and the Defender will be renamed the Discovery Old.’
Mr Discovery, nee Smith, later denied that this plan was baffling. ‘It’s no more baffling than our plan to replace the word ‘Land’ in our name with the word ‘Discovery’, he insisted. ‘Which, I might add, perfectly matches our other decision to change ‘Rover’ to ‘Discovery’.’
‘This is all about making use of one of our best loved names,’ Mr Discovery went on. ‘The current Discovery is at the heart of what makes Discovery Discovery the company that it is and to emphasise that, I can reveal that its replacement will be called the Discovery Discovery, just to make that point really clear.’
However, even Mr Discovery was forced to admit the new naming plan had hit some problems. ‘The other night we had an inter-departmental pub quiz here at our HQ in GayDiscovery, Discoveryshire,’ he revealed. ‘Unfortunately, it descended into chaos and had to be abandoned after every single team called themselves Discovery.’
‘Lifestyleness premiumational aspirationalosity,’ said Discovery Discovery Chief Discovery Design Discoverer Geraldine McDiscovery. ‘I invented pencils,’ he added.