Motorshows News

The 2014 Beijing Motor Show


The Beijing Motor Show took place in Beijing this week. We sent expendable correspondent WURKE ESPERIENSE to look at the local offerings on display.

Beijing14_1One of the local stars here in Beijing was the new Fat Cok 8L from Massive Wasp Motor & Pre-school Hand Grenade Concern. This innovative SUV boasts an especially obedient interior, featuring a second row of seats that can fold, rotate and report you to the authorities. It resembles a Toyota RAV4 that has been in a needless accident.

Bum Lik Automobile & Asbestos Baby Food Manufactory are a new company from the Chandler Bing province. Their Girl’s Hat 8J is an entry level model that will be offered through an innovative lease scheme in which customers use the car when they need it and return it when they want their relatives back. It resembles a Toyota RAV4 that has received some terrible news.

Beijing14_2The Rist Tits 88K is a new crossover model from Furious Monkey Child Motor System & Detention Center boasting a unique hybrid system that runs on a combination of electricity and fear. The interior is equally interesting with a dashboard designed primarily to record your conversations. It resembles a Toyota RAV4 that suspects more strangers have been in its house while it was out.

Glorious Crow Vehicle & Poisonous Water Industry were displaying a revised version of the Dog Zhit 300 which now has larger headlights, fewer rotating knives and a more easily wipeable interior. The new model also has a lower price, emotionally. It resembles a Toyota RAV4 that has seen some truly awful things happen to its parents.

Beijing14_3Finally, Beijing marked the debut of the all-new 88 Liam Neeson Starbucks iPhone X from Mary Berry Car, Truck & Nerve Agent Concern. This striking saloon-coupe-SUV hybrid features a below average number of sharp edges and can be made to go in the direction you would like with a series of bribes. It resembles a Toyota RAV4 that has long since ceased to be wistful and is now slipping inexorably into a state of deep despair.

Two men have been following me ever since I arrived here. Please send help.