Volvo announces self-loathing car

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VolvoselfloathingAt a technical briefing in Gothenburg today, Volvo  announced details of the world’s first self-loathing car.

The self-loathing prototype is based on a standard S60 but can identified by its slightly deflated tyres and very mournful horn. To allay fears that the self-loathing car will be a danger to pedestrians, in urban areas it will announce its presence by making a long sighing sound.

Engineers say the car is designed to be haunted by its own inadequacies in a range of conditions from worrying that it is too fat to fit in a parking space to becoming despondent that it has been overtaken by a newer, better looking model.

‘This is, erm…’ sighed Volvo future projects manager Bjorn Glöom, wearing a big jumper and staring impassively out of a window at an overcast sky. ‘Pffffffff,’ he added, listlessly.