Crazy Dave

Crazy Dave on tha 2014 Spanish GP

Article image

CrazyDave2014Och aye tha noo muthafukas! Crazy Dave comin’ atcha on the Biddy Biddy Ciddle, rockin’ a strong blue trousa. Sunglizzles on ma beltizzle.

So las’ weekend we slide on Espana side fo’ tha Spanish Giddy Pizzle an’ it be looking like no brother gonna touch ma homies NiRo and Da Ham from tha MC Edes. ‘Cept each other, cuz dem cats be trash talkin’ each other like they be in tha WWE. An’ ma Arnie voiced homie Totes W ain’t be doin’ a ting ‘bout it. Refreshing absence of teamizzle ordizzles.

Sure ‘nuff, when it come to tha three stage fly to survive, it be Da Ham on tha ones and NiRo in tha two slot. But who this be on three but ma super smiley homie D Riccy and he be jus’ ahead of ma Martini stripe Scandi 77 brother Valtizzy B. Tings ain’t so gravy fo’ ma current WoCha homie Sebby V cuz that cat only jus’ squeeze it in tha big 10 and then he gotta take a drop to tha 15 slot. Unavoidable gearbozzle replacementizzle.

Come tha disappearin’ red line, dem Benz homies be drivin’ away like it easy. Ain’t no ReBu or Will.i.ams gonna catch ‘em and tings ain’t good fo’ tha Fo’rarris neither cuz the best ma monobrow homie Nando can manage is takin’ on he own teamhomie K Raik. They rides ain’t sweet. Fundamental engineerizzling issues.

Course, there be a accident fo’ ma PDVSA pay drivin’ homie P Maldiddy and it be another afternoon of slight disappizzle fo’ ma brothers at MC Laren but mostly dis race be tha typical Spizzle snorefestizzle. Tings get so borin’ Crazy D woulda fallen asleep if he trousas weren’t so tight. Uncomfortable compressizzle of tha testicizzles.

Then, jus’ befo’ tha end, it all go mad flava cuz NiRo be gettin’ all up on Da Ham’s business and shit. That boyband muthafunker wanna take down tha Pussycat strokin’ homie up front but that shizzle ain’t gonna stick and come tha wavy tablecloth it be Ham on the ones, NiRo on tha twos and D Riccy on tha three. Unexpected late flurrizzle of excitementizzle.

And remember, in just two week’s time the action moves to Monaco where we’ll have full live coverage on Radio 5 Live followed by comprehensive highlights on BBC One and BBC One HD.