Motorsport News

Button develops points allergy

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Jenson Button, yesterday

There was embarrassment for McLaren today as Jenson Button admitted he has become allergic to world championship points.

‘I just don’t know what’s happened,’ the West Country driver said with a bit of a phlegmy throat, perhaps because of the allergy or perhaps because he always talks like that. ‘I was alright at the start of the season but now if I go anywhere near a championship point I just get really watery eyed and snuffly.’

Button’s strange allergy explains his behaviour in recent races where he has either retired or finished outside the points. ‘Spain was a classic example. I was running in eighth and I could feel myself breaking out in hives,’ Button explained. ‘I had no choice but to deliberately drop back to 11th to keep myself well away from any points. Luckily, suspicions weren’t aroused because the car is  shit.’

Button’s odd condition is the strangest F1 medical outbreak since 2004 when Juan Pablo Montoya developed a very specific dyslexia which make him unable to read any sign that said ‘buffet closed’.