Jaguar announces new recreation

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How the new Jag will look, yesterday

Just a day after announcing it will make six brand new lightweight E-types, Jaguar has revealed its next recreation project – to build 10 examples of a 1983 Sovereign saloon from 1994.

‘These will be meticulous recreations of a 1983 Sovereign 4.2 that is 11 years old,’ explained Jaguar Heritage spokespeaker, Rusty Seams. ‘The level of detail will be breathtaking, from the worrying corrosion on the sills and mismatched tyres to the enormous quantities of cigarette ash covering the interior and the half-drunk bottle of Scotch on the back seat.’

Jaguar promises that the ‘new-old’ Sovereigns will be made using the original tooling and will come with an official certificate of authenticity and an unofficial MOT from Big Chris in The Lamb & Flag. Even the car’s original 1994 interior smell will be recreated using a secret blend of Rothman’s, farts and tax irregularities.

‘We have already received many expressions of interest in these cars from failing bookmakers, bulbous pub landlords and other functioning alcoholics.’ Seams claims. ‘Remember, these are brand new cars. Although for authenticity there will be six other names already in the log book and several outstanding parking tickets against the car.’

Jaguar is yet to confirm a price for the 11-year-old 1983 Sovereign. However, in 1994 an original in this condition would have fetched upwards of a staggering £670.