Ford is to cash in on UKIP’s success in the recent European elections with a special edition called the Fiesta Farage.
Available exclusively in purple, the Fiesta Farage will feature Union Jack headrests, no metric units on the instruments and a sophisticated security system that prevents anyone getting into the car if they look like an immigrant.
In order to woo UKIP voters, the Fiesta Farage dispenses with the usual German-made Ecoboost motor and instead uses the 36 horsepower side-valve engine from a Ford Anglia, thereby allowing the driver to more accurately pretend it’s 1956.
The car’s dashboard features a pint of bitter holder and a specially designed rack for the Daily Express, along with a reprogrammed sat-nav that automatically locks the doors when travelling through areas where those sort of people live and stridently encourages the driver to veer towards the right, whilst not actually driving on the right since that’s exactly what those bloody EU bureaucrats would want, isn’t it, eh, isn’t it, if you know what I mean, eh, eh, eh, isn’t it, eh, well this is it, isn’t it, eh?
The Fiesta Farage will cost 12,995 in good, strong British pounds and will appear from a distance to be quite affable and chummy. It’s only when they get closer that buyers will realise it’s actually a ghastly twat with a face like a melting wellington.