Second-hand car not as ‘stunning’ as expected

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A second-hand car advert, yesterday

There was consternation in the town of Howling-in-Pain this week as a second-hand car was discovered to be less ‘stunning’ than the advert promised.

‘I’m completely baffled by this,’ admitted local man Cresco Plobe who was interested in buying the car. ‘The ad definitely said it was “stunning” but when I went to see it, that wasn’t the case at all. Perhaps I’m just not the sort of bloke who gets “stunned” by a 12 year old Focus with faded paint and a strange crease in one of the back doors.’

Mr Plobe admitted that his failure to be ‘stunned’ led him to question other aspects of the online advert that drew his attention to the car. ‘The ad clearly said that the car “drives like a dream” but in my dreams I’m being chased by massive wasps with the face of Nicholas Lyndhurst and not in a shit old Ford that’s going to need a new clutch soon,’ he noted glumly. ‘On that basis, I’m really starting to wonder if it actually “uses almost no petrol” and the air-con “just needs a re-gas”.’

Plobe also pointed out that, upon viewing the car, he could see no evidence of the ‘bodie coloed bumbers’ promised in the advert and nor did ‘evryone who see it compliment’s it’s condition’.

Seller Adock Spume remained defiant, however. ‘First to see will buy,’ he insisted. ‘I mean, literally, first to see. Unfortunately, the first person to see the car after I wrote the advert was me. So now I’ve had to buy my own car off myself.’

With thanks to Joseph Briley