Two years after buying a Honda S2000, 33-year-old IT manager Breverton Smee still won’t shut up about Honda S2000s, colleagues reported this week.
‘It doesn’t matter what the situation, somehow he manages to make it about S2000s,’ sighed work mate Manton Gull. ‘When it’s sunny, he says it’s good S2000 weather. When it’s raining, he tells everyone he “better be careful with those 240 horses”. The other day someone mentioned the Sugababes and he immediately said “There’s three of them, they’d be stuck if they all wanted to travel in an S2000, which is of course a highly focussed two seater”. There is literally no conversation he can’t make about Honda fucking S2000s.’
‘This is beyond an obsession,’ added colleague Janiz Cress. ‘Every time the coffee machine in the office kitchen starts whirring he says “VTEC’s kicked in! Just like on an S2000”. The guy’s an idiot. I mean, what sort of grown man has a picture of their own car on their computer and phone and T-shirt?’
Sources say that Smee has several nicknames for his bright yellow Honda include ‘The S2K’, ‘The Stook’ and ‘The Love Banana… although of course the S2000 actually has excellent torsional rigidity’.
‘The other day I even heard him call it “The Japanese Ferrari”,’ Mr Gull noted. ‘Although as unbelievable bores go, it could be worse. He could own an actual Ferrari.’