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Bottas ‘just can’t stop grunting’

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Bottas, grunting yesterday

There was trouble for Williams today as Valtteri Bottas admitted he can’t stop grunting.

‘I just can’t stop grunting!’ the Finnish driver confessed, grunting slightly.

‘At the team’s request I have examined Mr Bottas for grunting,’ said Professor Han Sleavecock of Grunting University in Grunting. ‘And I’m afraid I can confirm that he is doing rather a lot of grunting.’

Fortunately for the team, the Bottasian grunting outbreak seems to have left his impressive pace thus far unaffected. ‘It’s annoying more than anything else,’ said one insider. ‘He just can’t stop grunting.’

‘I just can’t stop grunting,’ the Finnish driver needlessly confirmed again, audibly grunting.