There was controversy in Westminster today as the government revealed plans to use the newly revealed second generation BMW X6 as part of a criminal profiling test.
‘It’s perfectly simple,’ said junior justice minister Woldly Pribe. ‘We show someone a picture of the new X6 and if they like it, chances are they’re some sort of thick-necked, tracksuit trouser-wearing, gold jewellery covered ne’er do well who’s always on his mobile phone and seems to receive most of his income in cash.’
‘Let me be clear, we’re not suggesting that anyone who likes the new BMW X6 is automatically a thief, a drug dealer or a vile mouth-breathing moron,’ Mr Pribe continued. ‘Even though they definitely are.’
Unsurprisingly, the controversial new plan immediately met with opposition from civil rights groups. ‘You cannot and should not gauge a person’s reaction to a picture of a car and then decide that they are a criminal,’ insisted Shrevly Screak of personal liberty campaigners, PHREE. ‘Although, in fairness, it really is a ghastly car and they probably are.’