Crazy Dave

Crazy D reports from Canada 2014

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CrazyDave2014Och aye tha noo muthafukas! Crazy Dave comin’ atcha on Double Biddle to tha Ciddle rockin’ a tighty green trousa. Do not adjustizzle your televizzle.

So las’ weekend we slide on over Montreal side fo’ tha G diddy Pizzle of Canadia and all da cats, they be watchin’ tha Benz homies Da Ham and NiRo cuiz them brothers be fightin’ like cats an’ other cats. That be some bad shit goin’ down with there, even though they be sayin’ they still friends. Completizzle unconvincizzle.

When it come to tha three section sprinty shit, ain’t nobody gettin’ close to tha MCedes homies. Only question is who slam it on tha one slot an’ in dis case it be ma Finnizzle-Germizzle buddy NiRo. It be lookin’ gravy fo’ tha Willizzles too cuz we got V Botty and Filly M on tha fo’ and five. An’ who this be sneakin’ it on tha three slot but ma pointy finger WC on the M I C, Sebby V. Impressivizzley improving paceizzle.

Come tha red five and goodbye, Da Ham almost stick it on NiRo but that ain’t goin’ down and it look like Crazy D gonna be so bored he prefer to look at But wait, what this goin’ on? Dem Benzes be gettin’ mad problems wit’ dem brakes and computers and shit. Da Ham and NiRo, they gotta get wit’ tha contrizzle-altizzle-delizzle.

But that ain’t no good for Da Ham and that cat be suckin’ down a DNF. He be joinin’ ma‘Russia homies who be gettin’ into a first lap back-o’-tha-pack smackdown and dem crashy bastards at tha Lotizzle who be snappin’ they aero shit and drivin’ into tha pit. Meanwhile, mad props to ma under-rated homie Tha Hulk cuz that cat be runnin’ some mad long stint shit. Very carefizzle tyre managemizzle.

Up tha pointy side, Filly M be on tha ones fo’ a moment but then NiRo be back like a cat an’ it look like he can make this real. But then who this be slidin’ up the inside but ma big teeth brother D Riccy. And behind he, it all mashed up mad stylee cuz we got Sebby V an’ Filly and ma Mexico muthaflucker Sergy P-to-tha-Zee and they all fightin’ to that flag when bam! Filly and Tha Prezman be gettin’ into a maxi G smackdown. Dem cats’ be saved by tha big ass tyre walls. Impressive dispersizzle of energizzle.

Come tha tablecloth, Sebby V take tha three, NiRo on tha twos and that smiley ass muthafunker Danny Ric take tha on. Fairizzle dinkumizzle.

Don’t forget that in just two weeks the F1 action returns to Austria for the first time in over ten years during which you’ll be able to hear live coverage on BBC Radio FiveLive and, later on, watch a comprehensive highlights package on BBC Two and BBC Two HD.