There was excitement in Britain today as a Ferrari was spotted driving at 67mph in the middle lane of a motorway.
‘It was just breathtaking to behold,’ said witness Brindley Tzits. ‘You really don’t appreciate the thoroughbred engineering and Formula 1 heritage of a true supercar until you see it in its natural environment, driving at just below the speed limit in the middle lane of a motorway.’
‘It really was incredible,’ added another onlooker, Jarmo Pritt. ‘It just flew past a row of lorries like it was going 10, maybe 11 miles per hour faster.’
‘I tried to take a picture but my Golf TDI was totally outclassed,’ admitted functioning moron Lazlo Bulp. ‘I had to touch the brakes several times just to stay alongside.’
Ferrari’s own research suggests that over 90 percent of all its cars are now used for driving at 67mph in the middle lane of a motorway. As a result, the company plans to revise its trademark Manettino control with just two positions: One setting for the sole track day the owner undertakes shortly after buying the car at which they scare the crap out of themselves and then spin into a gravel trap, and one setting for driving exclusively at 67mph in the middle lane of a motorway until their retirement fund, pacemaker or mistress runs out.