More GM recall misery

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A 2003 Chevrolet Cavalier, yesterday

General Motors has been forced to recall all 2003 Chevrolet Cavaliers for a dangerous ignition fault which ‘could allow the driver to start and then drive a 2003 Chevrolet Cavalier’.

GM says recent analysis has exposed a flaw in the ignition barrel which ‘allows the key to be inserted and the motor switched to a state of runningness’. In such a circumstance, the company says ‘there is a subsequent possibility that the vehicle can be driven, placing the occupants at risk of plunging into a deep pit of despair.’

The recall has been prompted by reports from Cavalier owners such as Cleet Cuzenfukkor of Pigsnot, Idaho. ‘Last week I done go sit in my Cavalier as usual and put my keys in the key holder,’ Mr Cuzenfukkor explained. ‘Alls of sudden there wuz this noise from under the fronty end and all I done see is a endless expanse of gray. Turns out, that wuz the dashboard. But then we wuz movin’ and stuff and I was holdin’ the roundy thing and operating the two hoof levers on the floor. It wuz a horrible experience.’

‘I am using today’s apology to apologise for this,’ said GM boss Mary Barra. ‘I can promise that General Motors is working hard to ensure we do not see another awful and avoidable tragedy like the 2003 Chevrolet Cavalier.’