Motorsport News

Claire Williams warned

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Claire Williams, yesterday
Claire Williams, yesterday

There was shock today at Williams as F1 bosses ordered deputy team principal Claire Williams to stop bringing warmth and humanity to the sport.

‘Formula 1 didn’t become the pinnacle of motorsport by appearing human and pleasant on television,’ said a spokesman for F1 management. ‘It did so by presenting viewers with an endless series of dull men talking humourlessly about technical detail and expressing little-to-no emotion in the face of success, and that’s exactly how it should stay.’

‘People do not tune in to Formula 1 for humanity,’ the spokesman continued. ‘They tune in for the thrill of watching a driver managing his fuel consumption and the buzz of hearing a middle aged man mirthlessly intoning the word ‘undercut’.’

Williams has been given 14 days to stop being chatty and endearing on TV with a warning that if she fails to comply, she will be ‘fired upon by Bernie’s space laser’.