The organisers of this weekend’s Festival of Speed have been forced to suspend de-rigging work on the site after a feral Raikkonen was spotted prowling the Goodwood estate.
The Raikkonen is believed to have got into the grounds over the course of the weekend, attracted by the sound of racing and several well-stocked bars. It is said to be extremely quiet but may mark its approach with a low mumbling sound and some disinterested sighing.
‘This elusive creature is naturally shy and generally avoids humans, especially if they are journalists,’ said Raikkonen expert Pou Wakkacha. ‘However, to minimise the chance of attack it would be wise not to have any vodka in your pockets.’
‘The Raikkonen requires up to five litres of high quality spirits a day and if it cannot find anywhere still serving it will probably leave the site,’ Mr Wakkacha added. ‘However, if we cannot see it we must not assume it has gone. It may simply be taking a shit.’