Crazy Dave

Crazy D at the 2014 British GP

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CrazyDave2014Och aye tha noo muthafukas! Crazy Dave comin’ atcha live and in full effect on tha Double Biddy Cizzle. Relax laydeez. It’s a linen mix for maximum breathabilitizzle.

So las’ weekend we slide on over GB side fo’ the British Gee to tha Pee at Silviddystone and everyone, they be chattin’ ‘bout how this be an important race fo’ ma buddy Da Ham cuz he be British. Crazy D, he feel sorry fo’ Jenny B and Maxi Chill cuz they be British too but they ain’t gettin’ no coverage unless they make VT package called ‘Drivers who is uncompetitivizzle’. Ow.

Ting is, come tha knock out ‘til yo rock out, who this be slammin’ it on tha three but ma West Country muthaflunker JB sports. Take that, one sided Britishizzle coveragizzle. An’ lookie who takin’ it to tha twos but ma pointy finger, poor form homie Sebby V. That leave NiRo on tha ones which mean ma specially-made-hat homie Da Ham don’t be lookin’ sick on tha six. Abortizzle hot lapizzle errorizzle.

Come tha blinky cinque, every cat be gettin’ away smooth until ma mumbly ass brother K Raikk be pullin’ some mad Maldiddy shizzle on a wide line and be getting heself into one big ass tankizzle slapperizzle. Next ting, that homie be takin’ down ma panda face brother Filly M and slammin’ it hard into the A to tha R to tha M to tha OW! an’ we be on a lockdown fo’ a hour while they fix up tha fence an ting. It be a Sunday see, and you cannotizzle get the partizzles.

When we get to tha re-e-start, NiRo be flyin’ but Da Ham be on tha huntdown. But then what this shee-it be going down, NiRo be slowin’ down and ain’t no thang gonna stop DaHam on tha flyby. Unavoidable gearbozzle problemizzle. And then there be some serious mad shizzle goin’ down. P Maldiddy get into a smackdown that DON’T be he’s fault. K Mag get overtaken by so many homies he eventually lap heself. And Sebby V and El Nandaddy be fightin’ like bee-atches and whinin’ like l’il babies. Toysizzle out of the pramizzle.

Come tha wavy tablecloth, it be home comin’ homie Da Ham on tha ones but who this on tha twos and threes but ma muthabrother V Bottiddy and ma smiley muthahubbard D Riccy. Maturizzle performancizzles.

And dat be tha British giddle to tha piddle. Peace out.