Motorsport News

Eight amazing Max Verstapp-o-facts

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Max Verstappen, yesterday
Max Verstappen, yesterday

16-year-old Max Verstappen has attracted a great deal of attention after bagging a drive with Toro Rosso next season and then twatting one of their cars into a wall. But what else is known about the young Dutch driver? Here are some incredible Max facts (that are not true).

Max’s full name is Maximum.

If you invited Max to a party on the 5th, he would turn up on the 3rd.

Like many 16 year olds, Max often bickers with his parents over minor chores such as being made to tidy his room, visit his grandparents or compete in the 2014 European Formula 3 championship.

When Max prepares a pizza that takes 12 minutes to cook, he takes it out of the oven after eight minutes.

Whenever he filled the family car with petrol, nostalgic dad Jos would get young Max to set him on fire.

Max has already started doing a degree even though he hasn’t done his whatever the Dutch equivalent of GCSEs are.

Max’s commitment to motorsport has left him precious little time for activities normally favoured by teenage boys such as masturbating, drinking cider in the park and masturbating.

Unlike his dad, Jos ‘The Boss’ Verstappen, Max has yet to acquire a nickname that rhymes with his first name. ‘We’re a bit stumped,’ said a spokesman. ‘Although there might be something in his weird physical ability to receive a bitmap document of text or images transmitted over a telephone line.’