Just days before announcing the Discovery Sport, Land Rover has been plunged into crisis after realising that design boss Geraldine McGovern has forgotten all normal nouns.
‘We were working on the presentation for the Discovery Sport reveal when we noticed that Geraldine has completely lost the ability to talk about the attributes of a car using everyday words,’ admitted an insider. ‘We just want him to say it’s practical and rugged but he keeps changing all the nouns to things like premiumosity and strengthatiousness.’
Sources say panicked Land Rover bosses are now trying to find a way to keep McGovern away from the high profile car launch unless he can be persuaded to stop saying ‘luxurionality’ and ‘spacialositacioness’ like he’s had a very elaborate stroke.
‘We just want to say it’s spacious and strong and not, for example, “full of emotionalititude”,’ said one flustered senior manager. ‘So we’re going to have to keep him away from the reveal. Probably by telling him there’s a sale on at a nearby rollneck jumper shop.’
‘It’s ironic really,’ said a design studio insider. ‘The rest of us have absolutely no trouble thinking of several very well-known nouns to describe Geraldine McGovern.’
