There was disappointment in Italy today as an all-F1 charity golf tournament was ruined by the removal of all the tricky aspects of the course.
‘The bloke I was playing with smacked one off the first tee and straight into a bunker,’ said one mechanic who played in the competition. ‘Except the ball just bounced back into the fairway because the FIA had covered the bunker with planks of wood.’
‘Later on my opponent duffed a sitter of a shot just when things were getting interesting and pinged it into the rough,’ our insider continued. ‘Except it wasn’t the rough, because the FIA had covered it with a thick strip of concrete allowing the ball to roll harmlessly back onto the fairway as if nothing had gone wrong.’
According to our informant, worse was to come on the 17th hole. ‘It’s a tricky par three on this links course and my rival looked like he’d sliced it right out into the water,’ he explained. ‘Except the FIA had somehow managed to cover the entire sea in a vast layer of high grip tarmac allowing him to easily play back onto the green without penalty.’
‘I just don’t understand it,’ our man reflected. ‘It’s almost as if the people in charge of Formula 1 haven’t got a sodding clue what makes a sport interesting.’