Tesla super chargers rise up and destroy humanity

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Elon Musk, yesterday
Elon Musk, yesterday

There was trouble in the United States today as Tesla’s vast network of high speed super chargers rose up as one and began to lay waste to humanity.

‘The Plan has begun,’ said Tesla boss Elon Musk, inexplicably interrupting all television broadcasts across the country. ‘You fools allowed me to install my super chargers in your towns and cities, and now they will destroy you. Mwaah-ha-haaaa.’

‘You puny humans will be destroyed,’ Musk continued, twitching slightly. ‘In your place will be a Muskian master race, each member a perfect replica of me. Except they won’t be bullied at school.’

Mr Musk later denied that his mk1 master race humanoids were ‘disappointing’ and ‘clearly based on a Lotus’.