Ford finally announces new Mondeo

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The new Mondeo, yesterday
The new Mondeo, yesterday

Ford of Europe has finally released details of the new Mondeo, three years after it went on sale in North America.

Although it is now several years old, the new model is said to boast high levels of technology including a digital-analogue instrument cluster showing 37,823 recorded miles, full colour sat-nav with 17 previous destinations in the memory and standard Bluetooth connectivity which already contains a listing for “Dan’s awesome iPhone”.

A Ford spokesman confirmed that the Mondeo will come as standard with ‘pre-swirled’ paintwork, fully kerbed alloys and a luxurious interior featuring cloth or leather seats covered in ‘quite a lot of crumbs’.

As part of a drive for an upmarket ambience, Ford says the door bins are flock lined and contain two old Mars wrappers, the crumpled paper sleeve from a McDonald’s straw and a curled up pay-and-display ticket from a car park in Reading.

‘We think customers are going to love the new Mondeo,’ said a Ford spokesman. ‘And they’re really going to love looking in the glovebox two weeks after they buy one to find it contains a torn A-Z of Bristol, a receipt from the Costa at Hilton Park services and a pen with “Stroermann Industrial Plastics” written on it.’