Ron Dennis has ordered the McLaren Technology Centre to be demolished and rebuilt from scratch after discovering a stubborn stain on a work surface in a first floor kitchen area.
In order to eradicate what Dennis refers to as ‘an unsatisfactory blemish-related situational issue’ the entire MTC will be razed to the ground immediately and then reconstructed from brand new materials to exactly the same design. However, the building will be 7mm further south than before after Dennis observed that its previous positioning was ‘sub-optimal’. McLaren will also use the complete re-build to rotate the building 0.1 degrees clockwise following Dennis’s insistence that this would be ‘optimal building orientationalness based on full data analysisation’.
‘The Technology Centre is being demolished as I speak,’ said McLaren driver Ken Magnussen. ‘It’s really excitin… oh wait, all my stuff is still in there.’
His colleague Jenson Button was equally enthused; ‘This is great news,’ the British driver said. ‘And hopefully by totally demolishing the factory and rebuilding it to exactly the same design, the car will stop being rubbish and I’ll no longer come eighth in every race.’