New car tax system in chaos

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The DVLA, yesterday
The DVLA, yesterday

Just a week after abolishing the tax disc, thousands of motorists have complained about the DVLA’s new online re-taxing system with claims that it is ‘confusing’, ‘dangerous’ and ‘far too sexy’.

‘I went to renew the tax on my car using my computer,’ said Brist Knill of Frigging. ‘Unfortunately, instead of ‘car tax’ I accidentally searched for ‘hot girl-on-girl action’ and as a result my wife caught me masturbating in the conservatory. I can’t believe the DVLA would allow such a simple search mistake to occur.’

Mr Knill’s complaint was echoed by that of Hextor Teepsee of Fudge. ‘When I tried to buy new car tax online all my fingers fell off,’ he grumbled. ‘In my view the DVLA need to clearly label the difference between ‘a laptop’ and ‘a rapidly rotating circular saw’.’

Besty Syrinje of Kettles also had problems renewing her car tax using her smart phone; ‘Almost as soon as I logged on I felt light headed and then there was a lot of screaming,’ she said. ‘The problem is obvious. When you go to renew your tax the DVLA asks for the 16 digit reference number from your V11 reminder rather than warning you not to take a large quantity of LSD before wandering into WH Smiths with a nail gun.’

Sniff Petrol asked the DVLA for comment but they said they could not find our details and would get back to us within 48 working days.