With Lotus announcing a switch to Mercedes engines for 2015, Renault has confirmed that the number of teams using its V6s next year will be zero.
‘Lotus will go to Mercedes, Red Bull are secretly working on their own engine, everyone else is talking to Mercedes and Ferrari and Honda,’ a Renault spokesman confirmed. ‘Basically, no one want our engine because she is, ‘ow you say, shit.’
The news will come as a blow to the French company which has spent a great deal of time developing its 2015 F1 engine and is already confident it will boast its trademark ‘slightly disappointing amount of power’.
Sources in France say that, faced with this lack of demand, Renault may resort to turning up at each race in an unmarked van and hanging around outside the paddock looking shifty and offering cheap replacement engines to anyone who needs one. ‘Exceeded your four engines per season?’ said an insider. ‘Come and see me, Honest Cyril, and I will, ‘ow you say, sort you out.’
Nonetheless, one source in France say the lack of any official supply agreement will leave Renault with a ‘sodding massive stack’ of unwanted V6 hybrid powertrains.
In possibly-related news, Renault’s road car division has hinted that next year it will announce a limited edition version of the new Twingo which will boast ‘really quite a lot of performance’.