There was concern at Williams today with news that Felipe Massa has gone a bit blurry. ‘Felipe has basically lost focus,’ a team insider admitted. ‘And I mean, literally.’
Insiders say the Brazilian driver has gradually been getting ‘a bit fuzzy around the edges’ for the past few races and that by the time the team arrived in Russia he was ‘almost impossible to look at without getting a headache’.
Massa’s literal lack of focus is said to be having dire consequences for his ability to perform promotional duties, not least because he is now almost completely impossible to photograph.
It’s thought that unless Massa can get back into focus, Martin Brundle will not speak to him during the next Sky F1 grid walk because he will make viewers think there is something wrong with their televisions whilst over on the BBC, David Coulthard will also avoid talking to him but only because he is too polite to interrupt drivers while they are holding a water bottle, or wearing sunglasses, or breathing.
‘Oh never mind all that,’ said the team’s deputy principal Claire Williams. ‘Who wants some cake?’