Motorsport News

Button to ‘drive it like he hired it’

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Jenson Button, yesterday
Jenson Button, yesterday

McLaren sources say a disillusioned Jenson Button is going to ‘drive it like he hired it’ at this weekend’s US Grand Prix.

‘Jenson really doesn’t give a monkey’s knob about things any more so he’s going to treat the shitty MP4-29 like it’s a rental,’ confided an insider close to the razor-phobic driver. ‘Expect a bloody massive burn-out off the line and a lot of handbrake turns. I mean, A LOT.

Our mole says Button will also attempt to change gear without the clutch, rev the car almost to the red line in second and then bang it back into first ‘to see what noise it makes’, and might drive up a ‘really bumpy’ track into the woods at high speed, ‘if no one’s looking’.

As a final act, the British driver will probably leave the footwell full of tear offs and dump the car as soon as the race is over, hot footing it to the airport before any inspection can ask why there’s loads of sand stuck to the sills.

‘Isn’t this about the point where you put in a Pastor Maldonado joke?’ said everyone, yesterday.