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US Grand Pricks report

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American reporter KENNY SPORTLEMAN rounds up all the action from this weekend’s US GP

The Formulation 1 World Series came to Austin, TX October 30 thru November 2 for an awesome demonstration of European-style auto racing.

The World Series driving pendant contest is now between just two men, both pitching for the Mercedes Petronas Blackberry IWC Allianz Swissquote team. Those men are Louis Hammertown of Englandland and Nick O’Rosberg, of Germofinnerland.

Hammertowel seemed to have the upper hand coming into this game but O’Rosperg still had the over to bring home the under in the penultimate three meetings. In the opening solo racing speed trial Hammondton ran long before the first timeout but O’Roserberm was ahead by the second and third giving him the choice for the next day’s group event. The Finnlo-Germanyland driver chose to place his car at the front of the go zone, setting the scene for a mighty battle of the Benzes.

When the lights went out for go time, O’Rosburger seemed to have play under control and Hamilltone was pitching the tight game right up until a timeout occurred as Adrianne Subtle in the Sawber Claro NEC Chelsea soccer car entered into a contact situation with the Force India Sahara Royal Challenge Smirnoff TW Steel machine of Mexican Sergio Perez who was driving as if trying to evade the United States Border Patrol!

As play moved into the fourth inning, O’Rosburp’s defensive game wasn’t tight enough and Hamotongue made an offensive pass that put him beyond the bases and he was able to maintain that play right through the enforced tire rotation timeouts. At the climax of the sixth sector of play, the Englandish driver took it to the touchdown with 25 scores to Rossoberg’s 18, widening the scoreline in the world series of One Formula once more.

Yet the Formulateone rear garage truck lot area was also tinged with sadness this past weekend at the absence of two teams, those being Cateredham and Moorusher, both from the Great Britain region of England. These guys ran into financial irregularitude this past month and were unable to continue in the super league world race series. Some are saying the larger teams should help out these little guys but that seems unlikely to happen which is a good thing in this reporter’s humble opinion since that would be goddam communism! Others in the sport say the fiscal disruptification is indicative of a wider fiduciary problematication that should be addressed by the sheriff of Formulating One, Bern E. Ecclestown, the one-hundred-seven year old child who presides over the World Series Auto Racing Number 1 Big Pricks Formula Season.

For KYWXZ News, I’m Kenny Sportleman.