Formula 1 bosses have apologised for the 2014 season after admitting it was ‘too interesting’.
‘We are deeply sorry for any excitement people may have experienced in this regrettable season,’ said an F1 spokesman. ‘With the dull engine sounds and some especially joyless tracks, we had high hopes for the sheer tedium of this season but unfortunately things went the other way and even our shitty, shitty double points idea couldn’t take the shine off it.’
‘We will be taking steps to ensure that the so-called ‘drama’ and ‘excitement’ of races like Britain and Hungary does not happen again,’ the spokesman explained. ‘We must look to the Russian Grand Prix for an example of what F1 should be: An achingly tedious procession of cars driving around what appears to be a light industrial estate plastered in Rolex adverts.’
‘We must get back to the very spirit of Formula 1,’ the sport’s representative continued. ‘That is to say, an excuse for millions of people to have a nice nap on a Sunday afternoon.’
F1 organisers say some of the responsibility for reducing excitement must lie with the teams who will be encouraged to think carefully about their plans for next season. ‘A few more mid-level pay drivers wouldn’t hurt,’ an insider admitted. ‘And hopefully McLaren will ditch Jenson Button in favour of that chap who isn’t as good.’