Motorsport News

Another Ferrari sacking

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Ferrari, yesterday
Ferrari, yesterday

Just a day after getting rid of F1 boss Marco Mattiacci, Ferrari has continued the witch hunt over its 2014 performance by sacking Sebastian Vettel.

‘We have looked very closely at why we did not succeed this season,’ said a Maranello source. ‘And we must conclude that Sebastian did nothing to help Ferrari to perform better. Quite the opposite in fact. For that reason, he must leave.’

‘His attendance was very poor,’ our mole continued. ‘And we have reason to believe he was engaged in completely unacceptable actions such as working for a rival team.’

‘However, this is not the main reason we have to sack Vettel,’ our insider revealed. ‘The main reason is because we must keep blaming individuals rather than realising we are the most comically dysfunctional team on the grid. There is no need to acknowledge this, as long as there are people to blame and then sack.’

Meanwhile, Mattiacci has been replaced by former Marlboro man Maurizio Arrivabuses who says he looks forward to stewarding F1’s most conspicuously piss-up-free brewery for an indeterminate period before his inevitable dismissal.