Crazy Dave

Crazy D on the 2014 Abu Dhabi GP

Article image

CrazyDave2014Och aye tha noo muthafuckas! Crazy Dizzle in yo hizzle on the double Biddy Cizzle wit’ ma fly shorty SuPez and ma pie-in-tha-fizzle leprechaun of shizzle, EJo. Put 50p in tha satelizzle cuz we’z comin’ atcha live. Fo’ shiggedy.

So las’ weekend we slide on over MidEasy style fo’ tha Abu Dhabizzle giddy piddle and this be it. At tha end of this weekend, one of my so solid brothers from Mo Cedes gonna be tha WoCha an’ the otha gonna be cryin’ like Rubey Barrichizzle on tha podiumizzle. But not in a good way. Duelizzle in tha desertizzleizzle.

So, all tha homies in the paddock be chattin’ ‘bout how if NiRo take tha one slot, Da Ham gotta be on tha twos and if NiRo don’t be on tha top step, Da Ham gotta be fifth or betta cuz of tha double points shizzle. But Crazy D, he don’t do no math. All Tha D know is, one pair of tighty whitey jeans plus another pair of tighty whitey jeans equals enough tighty whitey jeans fo’ tha whole weekend, even accountin’ fo’ spillages. There’s a dryizzle cleanizzle in tha hotelizzle.

So come tha three time innit to winnit, dem MC Edes homies be playin’ it cool but you can tell they is sweatin’ and not just cuz we in a big muthaflunmpin’ sandpit. Relatively highizzle ambientizzle temperaturizzles and humizzleditizzle. Ain’t no thang fo’ NiRo though cuz that brother jus’ take it sweet and low fo’ tha pole leavin’ Da Ham on tha twos. Unfortunatizzle errorizzles when it matteredizzle.

But come tha five an’ fly, this shiz ain’t goin’ down NiRo style cuz that homie be boggin’ down like J Herb askin’ a interview question. Next ting, Da Ham be drivin’ away like it he’s birthday. An’ tings only gettin’ less gravy fo’ NiRo cuz that hombre be sufferin’ mo’ problems than Caterham’s accountant. Yea, Crazy D made a funny. Only homie havin’ a worse time be ma accident prone homie P Maldiddy cuz that brother be runnin’ super hot. Like, flamin’ hot, know wha’am sayin’? Man, that cat be tha F1 version of Inspectorizzle Clouseauzzle.

Meanwhizzle, all Da Ham gotta do is keep it on tha islandizzle an’ he gonna be in there like Crazy D’s swimwear. An’ guess what, that muthafunker jus’ go an’ do it. Ma Ham homie be tha new worldizzle championizzle. An’ even NiRo be stoppin’ by to say his congratizzleulatizzleonizzles.Nuff respec’ doubizzle Britishizzle Formulizzle Onizzle titizzle holderizzle. Fo’ shuggadiggedy.

And that be tha 2014 Fizzle Uno season. So this be Crazy D signin’ off. Peace out homies. Peace out.