Spyker in shyte

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An Spyker, yesterday
An Spyker, yesterday

Dutch car maker Spyker has gone bankrupt. The company has been struggling for some time following a failed deal with Chinese car maker Youngman.

A Spyker spokesman was quick to reassure the Chinese concern that it should not feel depressed about the bankruptcy and must continue with its own businesses. ‘Youngman, there’s no need to feel down,’ he noted. ‘I said Youngman, pick yourself off the ground.’

Ex-Spyker manager Vjillag Peepl was particularly keen to remind the Jinhua-based company that he had a list of contacts who could help them with their ailing bakery which has been suffering with supply chain problems. ‘Youngman, there’s a place you can go,’ he insisted. ‘I said Youngman, when you’re short on your dough.’

In a frank statement, Mr Peepl also admitted to stealing a pair of brogues from the Chinese delegation during their time in Europe, but explained that this was irrational behaviour brought on by living as a homeless person with Birmingham City football club. ‘Youngman, I was once in your shoes,’ he stated. ‘I said, I was down and out with the blues.’

With the collapse of Spyker, Mr Peepl is now available for consultancy work, specifically relating to which compass point to follow and what sort of blue to wear.