For gaming fans, this season’s hottest release is Driving Instructor, a first person game in which the player is an eerily calm middle-aged man sitting in the passenger seat of a Vauxhall Corsa with a plastic Toblerone on its roof while an acned-wracked youth slowly destroys the clutch. Features realistic dual control simulation and authentic dashboard tapping action.
Many of us will be looking for a present for someone who loves idiotically long and appallingly written online car-based video, and what better than the Driver X Pack which comes with night time sunglasses, a pair of real Alacantra driving gloves, a dictionary full of normal words with the letter T taken out of them, and everything you need to look and sound like a shit hipster gypsy.
Marussia are selling off their assets and that means the chance to bag a unique piece of Formula 1 history such as Max Chilton. Described by the team’s administrators as ‘fairly clean, very polite, mostly housetrained’, Chilton would make an amazing gift for anyone who loves F1, especially as he is said to come with ‘fistfuls of cash’. On the downside, the listing does warn that his pace is ‘missing’.
If someone in your family likes cars and watching things, why not get them Russia’s Most Unusual Dashcam Incidents, a brand new DVD boasting incredibly rare footage of Russian people making their way to work without becoming involved in a massive accident, an unexpected aviation disaster, or a road rage incident in which someone gets an ear shot off.
Do you know someone who likes supercars and making telephone calls? Then you’ve plenty of choice when it comes to exotically branded mobile phones such as the Aston Martin phone, which has a noisy ringtone and is based on technology from 10 years ago, the Lamborghini phone which works well in open areas but cannot be operated in cities or it will crash, and the Ferrari phone which claims to be ‘F1-inspired’ and did have 40 different functions until it blamed 37 of them for the team’s failure in the 2014 season and got rid of them.
If you’re feeling generous towards the Formula 1 fan in your life, why not get them The Pastor Maldonado F1 Masterclass which gives them exclusive one-to-one time with the infamous Lotus driver. Pit stops, qualifying laps, overtaking; these are all things your friend or relative will get to explain to Pastor and, who knows, maybe he’ll even understand them at last. Don’t worry about age and level of knowledge, they’ll still know more than Pastor.