Cars to look forward to in 2015 – part 2

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2015 is a year. New cars will come out in it. Here are some of them. Here.

2015lookahead_ButtonIn a bid to seem more youthful, Kia will hook up with top popstress Rita Ora to create a brand new model. The Kia Ora will be available only in orange.

Aside from P1 developments and the forthcoming Spurts Series, McLaren is also set to launch a limited production McLaren 650S Jenson Button Edition. Interested customers should put their names down now and then wait an agonising amount of time while the company decides if their order is going to be accepted.

In 2015 Mercedes will re-badge its 4×4 line-up GLK, GLK and GLS. These existing cars will be joined by the brand new Mercedes GLEE which is aimed at new market of simpletons and 17 year old gay people with a sat-nav that sings all instructions and an indicator note played on tambourine by a hyperactive drama school student. The new car has been described by a spokesman as ‘tremendously irritating’.

2015lookahead_tambourineThe big splash from Peugeot for 2015 is a new big car called the 8008. ‘Large Peugeots have had their knockers,’ said a spokesman. ‘But this new model will keep us abreast of the market… why are you giggling?’

Skoda will mark 2015 by reigning in the badging policy established with models such as the Rapid and Superb which a spokesman for the famously understated car maker admitted was ‘too boastful’. The first model to arrive under the new downplayed badging policy is a hatchback called the Quite Pleasant.

After announcing the new ForTwo and ForFour, Smart will add to its range in 2015 with the brand new ForTen, based on the same chassis but with what’s described as ‘a very, very long wheelbase.’ ‘It’s a five door,’ confirmed a spokeman. ‘On each side.’

2015lookahead_MuskyTesla is poised to announce a brand new electric car, called the Model T ‘Yes, we know about the name,’ quipped Tesla boss Elon Musk, twitching slightly. ‘And yes, you’ll be able to order it in any colour as long as it’s DO AS I FRICKING SAY AND I WON’T TURN ON THE SPACE LASER’.

Finally, Volvo is to home in on its target market in the UK with a version of its new large SUV called the XC90 Waitrose Essential Edition.