Jag creates jobs for F-PACE project

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An Jaguar badge, yesterday
An Jaguar badge, yesterday

Jaguar has announced the creation of 1300 jobs at its Solihull factory, all dedicated to trying to work out what ‘F-PACE’ means.

‘We’re delighted to be bringing so many new jobs to the Midlands,’ said the company’s HR spokesman, H.R. Spowksmann. ‘And we’re equally excited at the prospect of someone working out what the fuck a ‘P-FACE’ is. Frankly, we’re all a bit scared and confused.’

The British car maker will start recruiting its 1300 new employees immediately as insiders say management has made it their top priority to find out more about the mysterious ‘F-PISS’ and hopefully put a stop to it happening again.

‘This whole ‘C-FAPS’ business is really bothering everyone,’ admitted one source. ‘At first we thought we imagined it. But we keep seeing it on internal documents.’

‘It’s just there, like a meaningless load of letters lumped together,’ our mole continued. ‘What can it mean? ‘F-PUBES’. I mean, it can’t be the name of a car. That would just be stupid.’