Back to school for Bentley names

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A bit of a Bentley, yesterday
A bit of a Bentley, yesterday

After announcing this week that its forthcoming SUV with be called the Bentayga, Bentley has revealed name changes for the rest of its model range, starting with the Mulsanne which will be re-badged the Benderspza.

‘I’ve thought of new names for all of them,’ giggled Bentley branding boss Jake Wilson, aged 7. ‘The Continental is going to be Smellygyalord and instead of Speed, all the fast ones will be called Spnukface.’

‘Also, I’ve renamed the factory. Now all our cars are built in Pewbe,’ Master Wilson added. ‘Ha ha ha. You have a girl’s bag and you once called a teacher “mum”.’

‘Bentayga is a perfectly good name for our SUV,’ insisted Bentley spokesman Richard Head, defensively. ‘At least it’s better than the Jaguar PISS-FLAP.’