Motorsport News

Tilke to open karting centres

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Hermann Tilke, yesterday
Hermann Tilke, yesterday

Top track designer Hermann Tilke is to open a chain of karting centres, each carefully designed to replicate the experience of one of his Formula 1 tracks and boasting ‘over 20 chicanes per lap’.

Every Tilke Karting Experience facility will be situated on an unattractive industrial estate or a bleak out-of-town waste ground and, according to publicity material, will deliver ‘all the thrill of karting, with none of the inconvenience of overtaking’.

‘Organising a stag party or birthday celebration?’ the TKE brochure continues. ‘Then sit back, relax and let the Tilke Karting Experience make YOUR event a dispiriting procession of brain spasming tedium!’

For added F1 authenticity, each Tilke karting track will be plastered in adverts for things only 70 year olds can afford and will boast an enormous hospitality facility full of leathery sex pests in strident trousers which normal people will not be allowed to enter unless they give 10 grand to a turd.

The first Tilke Karting Experience will open shortly in whichever city pays an enormous amount of money for the privilege.