Porsche announces new young person plan

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An Porsche, yesterday
An Porsche, yesterday

Porsche has announced a new plan to increase profits and make its cars more appealing to fashionable younger people with a scheme known as ‘pulled Porsche’.

‘We got the idea from visiting gastropubs and fashionable cafes across Britain,’ said the company’s research director, Rees Urchdirektor. ‘What we discovered is, people in their 20s won’t go near anything that doesn’t have “pulled” in the title. And that’s when we came up with pulled Porsche.’

Based on their experiences reading menus, the Porsche team say the other benefit of ‘pulled Porsche’ is that they can charge up to 20 percent more for it compared to regular Porsche, without any justification other than the word ‘pulled’ in the title.

Keen to know more about this interesting concept, Sniff Petrol asked Herr Urchdirektor to outline what ‘pulled’ actually means in this context. ‘We don’t know,’ he explained. ‘But don’t worry, no one does.’

‘Woah, hang on, “pulled Porsche”?’ said car magazine headline writers everywhere. ‘Dammit. I was saving that for when they launched a front-wheel-drive car.’