Suzuki braking news

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The Suzuki Celery, yesterday
The Suzuki Celery, yesterday

Suzuki has stopped sales of its new Celerio model after two cars suffered complete brake failure while being helmsmanised by Autocar magazine.

The Japanese company is advising anyone behind the wheel of a Celeriac to ‘drive really slowly’ and only to undertake journeys where the destination is ‘very soft and squishy’.

However, Suzuki says it expects no injuries to result from braking problems thanks to a ‘built-in safety feature’ of its deeply dismal and unattractive appearance which has had a 100 percent success rate in repelling customers.