Magnum to return

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An Ferrari 488, yesterday
An Ferrari 488, yesterday

Of all the Hawaii-based moustachioed private detective series of the 1980s, the most popular was Magnum P.I. and now the hit show is returning with a re-boot in which the former Ferrari 308 driver trudges about moaning that the new 488 GTB is turbocharged.

In episode one of the new show, Magnum (Tom Selleck) sits in an armchair wearing a Ferrari branded baseball cap and bomber jacket grumbling about ‘loss of purity’ and then starts droning on about ‘F1 heritage’ until his friend TC points out that the latest Formula 1 cars are also turbocharged, at which point Selleck (Dodge Magnum) flies into a rage and smashes an ornamental turtle.

In episode two, Magnum (Monica Seles) is still grumbling about ‘the end of an era’ when his ally Higgins points out that he wears an awful lot of branded clothing for someone who doesn’t own a Ferrari any more and perhaps it’s none of his cocking business what powers the Ferrari 488 since he patently can’t afford one, at which point Selleck (Wall’s Magnum) completely loses his temper and kills a parrot with a spoon.

Magnum Goes Mental starts next Monday on ITV9.