Bookies take bets on Clarkson conundrum

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The Top Gear studio, yesterday
The Top Gear studio, yesterday

Following this week’s explosive news about Top Gear, bookies are already taking bets on who will step in to become the next person to be punched in the face by Jeremy Clarkson.

Top of most bookmakers’ lists is Chris Evans, a TV researcher from Bristol who most agree has a face that fits, especially with Mr Clarkson’s fast moving fist. ‘Chris would be perfect,’ said a spokesman for website, Cockney Celebrity Betting. ‘He’s dedicated, he’s professional, he’s done nothing wrong. He has all the qualities necessary to be punched in the face by Jeremy Clarkson’.

Other front-running contenders including Jay Kay, a production runner from Edinburgh who rarely asks for hotel kitchens to stay open, and John Bishop, an assistant producer from Ipswich who never carries hot steak about his person just in case.

However, according to a spokesman for high street bookmaker Intimidating Atmosphere there is one other contender that can’t be ruled out for the job of being punched in the face by Jeremy Clarkson: Jeremy Clarkson himself. ‘You’d have to be a total idiot to punch yourself in the face,’ said a spokesman for the company. ‘That’s why we’ve got him as 1/3 favourite.’