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Vettel books in with finger physio

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Sebastian Vettel, yesterday
Sebastian Vettel, yesterday

Buoyed by their surprise victory in the Malaysian Grand Prix, newly-confident Ferrari have booked Sebastian Vettel into an intensive session with his finger physio.

‘If we have won once, we can win again,’ noted the team’s staff and driver wellbeing manger, Stefan Driverwellbeingmanager. ‘And if that’s the case, we can’t risk Seb’s finger being in anything but peak pointing fitness.’

Team insiders say the intensive finger training regime is as a result of fears that Vettel’s finger is out of practise. ‘Of course Seb has used his finger since joining Ferrari,’ admitted one insider. ‘But only for light work such as to accompany him saying “Excuse me, is this the way to the canteen?” or “Hey, who left this pile of vodka bottles here?”.’

Ferrari insiders say the intensive finger training regime is a sign of a new-found attention to detail inside the factory. ‘We cannot leave anything to chance,’ admitted one high ranking source. ‘And if this doesn’t work, I guess we’ll just have to sack everyone and start again. Again.’