As Lewis Hamilton prepares to sign a new deal with Mercedes, Sniff Petrol has obtained exclusive details of what’s in the British driver’s next contract.
Contract of employment between Mercedes AMG Petronas Formula 1 (hereafter referred to as ‘The team’) and Lewis Carl Davidson Hamilton (hereafter referred to as ‘L Ham Diddy boyeeeee’)
Yearly contractual requirements as follows
– 31 million US dollars (to be referred to at ALL TIMES as ‘Benjamins’)
– 31.1 million hats
– 31.2 million slightly different beard designs
– DO NOT let me get back with her
– One item of ostentatious gold jewellery per race
– No seriously, if she calls say I’m in the bath
– Larger and more ridiculous sunglasses
– If she turns up to a race, just tell her I’m not there or something
– 40.2 million hashtags
– Emergency noise cancelling machine in case she turns up and starts speaking
– #blessings (various)
