Jag announces XF-actor

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A XF, yesterday
A XF, yesterday

Jaguar has used this week’s Noo Yoik Modor Sho to reveal its brand new XF range which includes a remarkable model called the XF-actor.

The XF-actor is distinguished from lesser models by an incredibly glittery exterior and what’s described as ‘a lot’ of dry ice coming out from the underside.

On the inside, the XF-actor boasts a very shiny floor, a lot of crying, and a dashboard built around one extremely judgmental panel.

The sat-nav has been re-designed so that every announcement is made at excessively volume by an incredibly strident, ridiculous voice. In a further unique touch, upon reaching each destination, the system is programmed to replay every turn, junction and road number in a feature called ‘Let’s have a look back at your incredible journey’.

‘I wish this car every success for the future,’ said Dermot O’Leary, testily.