Paper licence to be scrapped

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An driving licence, yesterday
An driving licence, yesterday

Later this year the paper part of the UK licence will be scrapped and the DVLA is already warning people that they will need to pick something else that they can never bloody find when they need it, it was just here last week, I swear I saw it, oh for frig’s sake, it was in the kitchen drawer, Sarah, have you moved it?

From June, the information recorded on the counterpart licence will be stored electronically, removing the need for a flimsy piece of slowly tearing paper that, honestly, was here in the thing on the desk, that’s where I left it, so where the hell has it gone, for fuck’s sake Sue did you put it somewhere else when you tidied up?

‘This is the end of an era,’ said DVLA spokesperson, Evie Dellay-Spokesperrson. ‘And we would strongly advise all drivers to act now to find another piece of paper that seems important and should be kept somewhere safe, but which turns out to be so safe that you can never find the sodding thing, oh for the love of God, Peter have you seen it, you said you put it in the file under the sideboard, where the pissing frigby has it gone?’

Anyone with a paper counterpart licence is advised to shred it just as soon as, oh for fuck’s sake, I put it that box on the bookcase last year, I swear I did, well no of course I can’t keep it in my wallet, it’s too bulky, look it was here only the other day, I saw it when I was looking for the bloody key for the top window, you must have moved it Janet because I definitely didn’t, and why would it be in the car for Christ’s sake, that’s a stupid place to keep it, and while we’re on the subject, have you seen the charger lead for the camera?