Piech to Winterkorn: ‘I am your father’

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Dr Piech, yesterday
Dr Piech, yesterday

Days after resigning as VW Group chairman, Dr Ferdinand Piech has told protégé and possible successor Martin Winterkorn that he is his father.

Piech broke the news during a fight which broke out between the pair following a Volkswagen board meeting in Cloud City. The departed chairman is thought to have hoped that this information would lure Winterkorn away from VW and persuade him to join Piech on what he apparently calls ‘the dark side’.

‘Dr Piech thinks the dark side is there to attack everything that Volkswagen stands for,’ explained industry analyst Ian Dustry-Annalist. ‘It opposes restrained design, sturdy build quality, massive price discounts, strong re-sale value and so on.’

‘We are delighted to welcome Dr Piech as our new chief executive,’ said a spokesman for Renault.