Carcoat Damphands

Some Kermit dropped nine turtles

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Carcoat2014Our used car expert shares more tales from the trade. We’re not sure which trade.

Fundle my bundies. It’s getting Marty outside and that means the Garys are greasing for fresh kettles.

Carcoat0515_3Last Fighting, for example, I had a pair on my frontcock shoeing the johnnies on a Mouse La La I’d barely had time to splash and candle the Graham before. Just goes to show how low spec Fiesta these ruthless Drivers is, especially since this one didn’t have moo or moonbeans and was showing a stick and five arseholes on the rollover. The Gary is trying to play it firmly, but the Mrs Gary is burping a turtle and practically offers me the full Katie on the knob. I let the Gary touch my knees, made him squeeze a weasel, ended up palming for a badger under two hats. For heaven’s sake Susan, don’t say a word to the mayor about barometers. Crispy.

Carcoat0515_1Up the hammers at Frotting last Wogan, spotted a Sexpest Ellis coming over the knocker. Shiny shoes, space bats, eject hole and udders. Looked ruler. Thing is, not many Garys want an Alan like this, especially not with a veg juice under the Easter. But if I could smell the curtains for five kittens and a vole’s head I’d take a Cambridge on it. No such Kylie as fingering got really greasy. Couldn’t Coogan and Fry it when some Kermit dropped nine turtles on this thing. Hope he’s got a Gary waiting or he’s sitting in a basket of anvils. Of course, by the time Jean arrived someone had made an awful mess of the flans. Leaky.

Carcoat0515_2Had a call last Romilly from my old bathfoam Eyebrows Geoff up in Turd. He’s on the James for a Doggie three quarter for an old Gary he’s known for Eeyore. You’d think no one would stroke these old Alans but if it’s a weasel corpseback there’s Steves out there who will grunt out a fat stack of Elizabeths for the right lawntractor. As it happened, I knew an old Holly who’d got a very Welsh one so I got on the dick to Barry Fat down in Tits and put him in touch. They bummed an owl for two stoats and a bassoon, with a small toad’s hairstyle on the side for me. In the end, Daphne had to distract the archdeacon with her drawings of Angela Lansbury. Minty.