TVR return delights hedge menders

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An hedge, yesterday
An hedge, yesterday

News that TVR is to return has been met with delight by the National Union Of Hedge Menders.

‘We hedge menders have been through some difficult times,’ admitted trade union rep Trey Deyewnion-Repp. ‘The phasing out of cross ply tyres, the disappearance of the old VW Beetle, various improvements to the Porsche 911, but nothing hurt our business like TVR going away.’

‘So naturally, we’re really pleased to hear the company is coming back,’ Mr Deyewnion-Repp continued. ‘And I think I speak for all our members when I say we can’t wait to once more turn up at a car-sized repair job to find some floppy-haired, pink-shirted city clit in boating shoes staggering about on a pile of plastic shards muttering, “Oh bloody hell, I’d only just got her bloody working properly, and now I’m going to be bloody late for Tris and Arabella’s wedding”.’

The hedge menders’ union isn’t the only organization to have reacted strongly to TVR’s comeback. ‘Jesus Christ, we’d better start recruiting,’ said a spokesman for the AA.