Mercedes is to celebrate the UK launch of its new GLC with a limited edition model called the Livingstone.
The new special will be available only in red and comes with a seat which will later be lost.
Other standard features include a charge to get into the car during the day and a sat-nav featuring a self-righteously mewling voice which can only tell you to go hard left.
Under the bonnet is a 2.1-litre diesel engine which will gradually have its power removed by Margaret Thatcher.
For younger buyers, Mercedes is to offer a second special GLC called the Your Mother’s Got A Penis Edition. ‘It’s well tidy,’ said a spokesman. ‘Lush.’