Tesla is to upgrade the performance of its Model S with a new ‘Fucking HELL!’ mode.
‘Fucking HELL!’ mode will access maximum acceleration and will sit at the top of a revised performance settings hierarchy, just above ‘Shitting CHRIST!’ and ‘Argh! My ORGANS!’
The new ‘Fucking HELL!’ mode is made possible by tweaks to the car’s electrical system which allow it to freeze the very fabric of time itself.
Taking inspiration from Elon Musk’s SpaceX programme, the Model S in ‘Fucking HELL!’ mode will then explode and claim that everything is fine, even though it clearly exploded.
‘Fly my beauties, fly,’ said Mr Musk, speaking from inside his hollowed out volcano. ‘I crush your head,’ he added, mysteriously.
